One need not learn how to be a dom from outside but only unleash one’s most authentic self. One of the most prominent human instincts is that of domination and subjugation. Human history is its proof. Man has always tried to take control of other human beings or a state. Besides the material gains, it also gives one a kind of satisfaction and pleasure. A consenting sexual relation is the safest and the best way to explore this dominating side of yours.
If you are new to the BDSM genre of sex, it is natural to feel nervous about taking up the role of a dom. If you want to excel in being dominant, read on and find out all about how to be a dom.
What Is Sexual Dominance?
Sexual domination is creating a safe environment where one partner controls and commands the other with his/her consent. Sexual domination could be as mild as giving basic commands in bed or could be as extreme as bondage. The intensity of course depends on the consent of both parties.
Often people ask how to be dom and the answer would be to begin by talking things out and taking consent. Once you have spoken about it, sexual dominance can be extremely enjoyable and not at the cost of the other partner.
Why Do People Enjoy Being Dominated?
Just as the idea of controlling is innate to human beings, the desire to be out of control is also a part of human nature. Some people love to please a dom and leave themself at his mercy. It relieves them of the stress at work or personal life.
As long as there is consent and an agreement to cease the game at extreme discomfort and pain, there are a lot of people who love to get dominated. How to be a dominant or submissive cannot be taught to imbibe. One is either so or not.
Popular Types of Doms
If you wish to know how to be dominant in bed, you must know all the categories of this play-act.
Daddy doms play the role of a father who is slightly caring as well as in full control of the sub. If you want to assume the role of a daddy dominant, you must know how to dominate a girl by altering methods of control and cajole.
If you know how to be more dominant than regular doms, this is what you should turn your mind to. Sadist doms are the extremists when it comes to BDSM practice. However, sadist doms must also be careful about the comfort and mental health of their subs.
Master doms decide the entire staging and criteria of the gameplay while the subs must follow. It is a total control situation where there is less pain in comparison to sadist domination but more control. The act of controlling need not necessarily be restricted to sexual.
The Responsibilities of a Dom
Establishing a Clear Communication
Being dominant also comes with its responsibilities. You must develop a functioning communication with your sub by discussing all the fetish and fantasies you have and go forward with it if only she agrees. Learn the words involved in BDSM and come up with a safe word.
Know Your Toys
BDSM involves a lot of sex toys and most of them must be used with full knowledge or else you will expose your sub to possible injury. Therefore, before you use any tool on her, watch videos and read about them thoroughly.
Keep First-Aid Handy
Any BDSM couple must follow all the safety rules. However, a dom must always prepare for the worst. No matter how well you know your thing, keep a first aid kit handy and in case things go out of hand, rush to the emergency room.
Respect the Safe Word
Do not get carried away in the frenzy of dominance in the bedroom and respect when the safe word is uttered. Stop whatever you are doing right at that moment.
After Domination Care
After an intense session of BDSM, the submissive generally experiences a sub drop, and thus the dominant needs to cuddle, kiss and shower affection on the sub after the session.
Tips for Being a Good Dominant
- Try to understand what you desire as a dom and what are your expectations from the session.
- Spank and try to put in full impact. You can also use whips and ropes that are safe for the purpose.
- Take it slow and slowly build it up. Nobody likes to rush an erotic session and more so if it is BDSM. It requires breaks and slow ascension.
- Use tools carefully and innovatively. Ditch the conventional methods and try to experiment to bring about a new twist to the game.
Common Mistakes Doms Make
- Do not explore enough submissive positions: There are several submissive positions to try out and most doms do not make their subs do it. Engaging your sub in sexy positions can be a great turn-on for the dom.
- No pleasure only pain: There are different ways to dominate a woman in bed and pain is not the only option. Doms must keep in mind that the whole point of BDSM is pleasure arising from pain.
Therefore you see the answer to how to be a dom is not very straightforward and will require some practice and education. Hope this article has helped you to understand how to up your dom game. Let us know in the comment about your experiences.
- 1 What Is Sexual Dominance?
- 2 Popular Types of Doms
- 3 The Responsibilities of a Dom
- 4 Tips for Being a Good Dominant
- 5 Common Mistakes Doms Make
- 6 Final Words